Day 94 - Blerg, Nertz, Shark Farts, and Other Liz Lemon Expressions of Discontent

The view from here - RICE (rest, ice,
compress, and elevate)

Today I ran a total of .68 miles before I knew I was being foolish. Actually, I knew I was making a foolish decision as soon as I set out, but I've been ignoring that voice for a while. My stubbornness is astounding. I have handled this potential arch/calf pain with as little seriousness as possible, hoping it would just go away and ignoring it when it didn't. After all, nothing hurt during my runs, only after. And inconsistently throughout the day. I tried to elevate and ice it away, to no avail.

About 10 steps into today's planned 8-miler, I knew running was a bad idea. I can taste the marathon, which is a month away now. I keep thinking, "I'll just finish training and run the race, and then I'll tend to this pain." Today I even told a friend, out loud, that though my leg was hurting I was going to stick it out until the race and then probably be in a boot. That's dramatic, especially since I have no medical proof of what's wrong or that it would lead to a boot; but the sentiment behind that statement is so Leslie of me. I'll just push myself until I run into the ground, and I'll stop when I literally have no other choice.

So I'm stopping, which actually now takes more discipline than running 40 miles each week. That's weird. I'll rest for the next few days and see how I feel before starting again. In the words of 30 Rock's Liz Lemon: "Nertz! ... Shark Farts!"

Day 88 - I Make Running Fit My Life

Not the other way around.

I've rearranged by weekend training schedule... again. I will run my 21-miler tomorrow, instead of Saturday.

There are several reasons:
1. My right leg has been hurting something fierce since last night, though it seems to have subsided earlier this evening. A rest day did me some good.
2. It's supposed to rain and snow on Saturday but be sunny and 52 tomorrow. Duh.
3. I have a birthday party tomorrow night. It would be hard to not eat birthday party-esque foods, which would undoubtedly bode poorly for a run the next day.
4. Because I want to.

See you on the other side of 21 miles... I hope!

Day 82 - Running Free

To the left is an icon making its way around Pinterest and other corners of the Internet that is an excellent tie in for what I want to write about today, a non-running rest day. It strikes a bit of a chord because running is something I regularly take for granted. Sometimes I go well beyond taking it for granted and complain about having to do it. I don't expect I'll ever arrive in a place where I gleefully leap out the door every day to head out for a run, but I'd like to practice a bit more intentional gratitude for being able to run. It is a gift to be able to run whenever and wherever I want.

A gift that is not extended to the estimated 27 million men, women and children who are held in slavery around the world today.

27 million. Let that sink in. Now, let's expand on that outrageous number. 27 million in miles is the equivalent of 192,034 Ironmans; 270,000 100-mile ultras; 384,068 Ironman 70.3s; 540,000 50-mile ultras; 1,030,534 marathons; 2,061,068 half marathons; 2,700,000 10-milers; and 8,709,677 5ks. (This is a running blog, after all.)


IJM - Introduction Video from International Justice Mission on Vimeo.
I could give you piles of data and numbers until your brain explodes, but isn't it enough to know that even one person is enslaved? Isn't it enough to know that somewhere a girl is being sold? Or that a little boy has never known a life apart from enslavement in a brick kiln? Or that an innocent man has been in jail for a majority of this life because of a corrupt system?

The thought of that one girl, one boy, and one man makes me want to cry out for justice. Multiply it by 27 million and you have one loud cry. But my voice alone would be small, so I'm joining the voice of 27,000 others. Will you be one of them?

International Justice Mission is inviting us to do so, calling on 27,000 Americans to urge President Obama to end slavery. They need 5,000 more signatures to reach the goal. That's all it takes from you -- a signature -- to advance the movement to end slavery. Maybe you'll be compelled to do more, too; but won't you at least sign? Go here to do so, or click the banner over in the sidebar.

Day 64 - Yoga'd, Yogad, Yogaed, or Yogaded

I'm still searching for an alternative to the verb phrase "did yoga," but for lack of a sufficient substitute, I'll just tell you that I did yoga for the first time ever today. I've been so resistant to it for so long, but I know I need to work on balance to improve my running. No, not because I fall all the time, though I did fall during the first race I ever ran back in 2006. I've read that balance, along with core strength, can really help you improve in any type of athletic performance, so I'm giving it a shot.

I plan to take a Pilates class at the gym on Fridays, but I employed a Jillian Michael's DVD for my yoga workout today. I knew I could count on Jillian (yes, we're on a first-name basis) to get right to the exercises and steer clear of the meditation/"spiritual" sides of yoga. That's just what she did. At one point, she said some silly yoga term like "melt your heart into the floor," or something, and then laughed, saying, "Or, in plain English like the rest of us speak, stretch as far as you can." I appreciate that.

I have done her workouts before and always leave feeling challenged and encouraged by her. She's fun but also no non-sense. We'd definitely be friends in real life, but first I have to get some muscle so I could feel not-so-shrimpy next to her.

A few more times of doing it and I think I'll feel a bit more comfortable with the positions and transitions. Overall, I'd say it was a success, particularly because I know I worked muscles I don't typically use while running. I like this idea of using my own body weight for resistance, too. I look forward to reporting back about my first-ever Pilates class on Friday, too.

On an unrelated note, check out this drawing my step-mom sent me:

Family portrait

This is a portrait of our family that she drew with one of her clients. Can you guess which one is me? Haha! Love it. If I had Facebook, this would definitely be my profile picture.

Day 53 - 25 for 25

Today's scheduled run: 4 miles

Today's completed run: 0 miles

Because of some plans I have for this weekend, I'm switching up my schedule a bit and resting today in preparation for a long run (16 miles) tomorrow. Zoinks. I can't think about 16 miles too much, or else I start to worry.

Yesterday I mentioned beginning a 25-for-25 list, i.e. 25 things I'd like to do during 2012, the year I turn 25. I wanted these to be measurable, and most of them are, though some sort of lack specific counts. I give you, the list:

1. Run a marathon.
2. Run 1,000 miles this year.
3. Read 25 books.
4. Re-read all seven books of The Chronicles of Narnia (These won't count toward the 25.)
5. Host at least two people per month for lunch or dinner.
6. Take at least 30 minutes per month to pick a new spot to take pictures.
7. Make creme brulee from scratch
8. Do something/anything with the garden patch dirt pit in my backyard.
9. Go to a baseball game
10. Go to the beach
11. Go to New York City
12. Shoot trap or skeet at a range
13. Go to the Baltimore Museum of Art
14. Jump out of a perfectly good airplane (aka skydive)
15. Learn how to speed read
16. Do 25 push-ups... the real ones
17. Intentionally address people by their name more often
18. Mail at least four letters each month
19. Rent or borrow an awesome car (convertible, etc.) and drive around for a few hours
20. Listen to a new music artist every week
21. Complete five iTunesU courses
22. Wake up (or stay up) to watch a meteor shower
23. Take a road trip, short or long, with a friend(s)
24. Get my nose pierced
25. Eat (and enjoy a choice beverage) at The Abbey Burger Bistro in Federal Hill, Baltimore

Want to join me for any of these? I'm always looking for friends. :)

Day 50 - The View from Here

Pre-sunset, Ashe County, NC

Back to Baltimore in the morning. I'm looking forward to some city runs, trails around Ft. McHenry, dodging traffic and walking most places. Until then...

Day 40 - Christmas Eve Eve

Rest day!

Greetings, friends; and a merry, merry Christmas eve eve to you. I'm currently baking (again). I've taken on dessert duty for Sunday, so I'm making red velvet cake balls. They are the greatest thing you'll ever taste, guaranteed. Have you ever tried them?

Today was an awesome rest day. My mom and I went to lunch at Alewife, a pub in Baltimore, and then went over to The Hippodrome to see The Lion King. Lest you be confused, as two of my friends were, this was the traveling Broadway show, not the 3D theater version. So, when I say I laughed and cried, please don't think I was watching the animated version that we all saw when we were in elementary school. It was an absolutely incredible show. The costumes were breathtakingly beautiful and original; the music, instrumental and voice alike, were moving. I'd definitely recommend it if it comes to a city near you.

Tonight, I will relax and bake, spending some Leslie-alone-time before joining my family for the next two days to celebrate. Tomorrow, I will run and then head over to my sister and brother-in-law's house to begin the festivities. As you know from a previous post, they are expecting. Even more exciting, now, is the news that they are expecting TWINS!

Day 35 - Rest

Today's schedule: a cross-training day.
Today's reality: a rest day.

I'm having a weird tinge that may or may not be my sciatic nerve. I also really just want to spend the day resting, so that's what I'm going to do.

I plan to listen to a lot of Christmas music. For example: Yo-Yo Ma and Alison Krauss "The Wexford Carol"; Mariah Carey and Patricia Carey "O Come All Ye Faithful/Hallelujah Chorus"; and Sufjan Stevens "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel." Enjoy those.

Happy Sunday, readers! And happy one week until Christmas!

Day 33 - That Bald Thing

I realize I haven't written much about the bald girl part of bald girl running. It's not for lack of wanting to, because it is a pretty important part of the blog and my life. I find that I often don't know exactly how to talk about it. I am naturally inclined to humor; it's how I deal with serious stuff a lot of the time. I'm thoughtful about things, but I try to avoid making my life more dramatic than it needs to be or really is. I can only be serious for so long before I have to throw some levity in the mix. But I don't ever want to sound insensitive or as if I'm making light of something that is really a big deal.

Losing your hair is really hard. It's an incredibly stressful time, whether you know it or not. What I mean by that is this: I didn't realize how stressful it was until it was all over. While I was living it (for 11 months, from Sept. 2010 - August 2011), it was life, and I tried to ignore it. Now that I'm on the other side, with all of my hair gone, I realize how much time the process of losing my hair stole from me. Or maybe how much time I let it steal from me.

I was always thinking about it. There was hair everywhere, all the time. It was hard to ignore the receding hairline and forehead that was quickly become a fivehead, then a six head, and so on. Even my dramatic comb-over was failing to cover things by late April. I transitioned to wide sashes, purchased on Etsy, and then to scarves that completely covered my head. Then there were the questions: Will it stop? Will it all go? What's making this happen again? Why now? And, of course, what do people think?

Some of these questions are moot now, like will it stop and will it all go. Others don't have answers that I can know, like what's making this happen and why now? And that last pesky one, well, I can be content knowing that it doesn't really matter what they think. Shortly after it all fell out, the questions of when will it come back and will it come back lingered nagged. That's not a question I ask anymore, though.

For now, I'm bald. But I'm also healthy and blessed and grateful. And I'm still Leslie, just with a shinier head.

Day 29 - Counting Down

I'm knee deep in a Literature Review focused on mitigating PTSD among active-duty service members, so this will be brief and random.

1. A really great running resource- http://www.strengthrunning.com/. This site has answered so many of my lingering questions today.

2. A news team is coming to P.S. 124 tomorrow. I don't know why, but we were instructed today via school-wide announcement to make sure our bulletin boards look good. No joke. There is one particular bulletin board in a stairwell that has had a curse word (misspelled, of course) written on it for about a week. Today, someone took the paper down. And, lo and behold, behind the paper was... another curse word! Written on the wall. Oh, P.S. 124.

3. Dad stopped by today to drop off a table and four chairs for my upcoming Christmas potluck. He also brought a gigantic, heavy Christmas present and put it under my Christmas tree. I have absolutely no idea what it is, but he says I can open it as soon as finals are over, when I don't have to worry about being distracted from my work. Hmmm...

4. The anticipation of aforementioned Christmas present is overwhelming. Imagine what it must have been for people waiting for the Savior of whom the prophets of old spoke? Phew.

5. I'm counting down the days for a few things.
The end of my first semester of graduate school - 3 days.
Christmas Potluck Extravaganza - 5 days.
Official start of Christmas break at P.S. 124 - 10 days.
Christmas - 13 days.
2012 - 19 days.

Until tomorrow...

Day 26 - To Be, Not Do

"God asks us to give away everything of ourselves. The gift of greatest efficacy and power that we can offer God and creation is not our skills, gifts, abilities, and possessions. The wise men had their gold, frankincense, and myrrh, Paul and Peter had their preaching. Mary offered only space, love, belief. What is it that delivers Christ into the world -- preaching, art, writing, scholarship, social justice? Those are all gifts well worth sharing. But preachers lose their charisma, scholarship grows pedantic, social justice alone cannot save us. In the end, when all other human gifts have met their inevitable limitation, it is the recollected one, the bold virgin with a heart in love with God who makes a sanctuary of her life, who delivers Christ who then delivers us. ... What if, instead of doing something, we were to be something special? Be a womb. Be a dwelling for God. Be surprised."

- taken from "To Be Virgin" by Loretta Ross-Gotta

Day 22 - Social Workery Things

It's another rest day. I'm getting a little tired of rest days. I'm sure I won't feel that way when the mileage increases, but for now, they're getting a little old. It's okay, though, because I'm still cranking out papers and studying for tests -- both of which I must do tonight.

I was at P.S. 124 today, and my day was a bit longer than usual. After the students had left, I got caught in a conversation with a teacher. I see four of her students -- three in a group and one individually -- and I've had an inkling for some time that she's a little upset about the morale at P.S. 124. As it turns out, she's more than a little upset. Teachers at P.S. 124 lack support and encouragement, making their already challenging job extremely hard. Because I'm an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) concentrator, my ears perked up at her wanting to talk.

We talked for about 45 minutes -- she discussed struggles and frustrations, I listened, and then we brainstormed about things we might be able to do together to create a support system for her and other teachers. It's probably the most satisfying discussion I've had at P.S. 124 since I started back in August. Don't get me wrong -- I love the kids. But therapy with children is just not my jam, it appears. So, this was awesome. I'm excited to see where we're able to go with it.

In other social workery news - check out this NPR article from 2008: "A Victim Treats His Mugger Right"

That's all for now; life feels pretty boring, but I did promise a post each day.

Tomorrow we run!

Day 19 - A Busy Rest Day

As usual, today is a rest day, which is good because I am busy, busy, busy with a lot of fun things. I am headed to DC this weekend to spend some time with friends there, which is always a gift, because I have some wonderful friends there.

The weekend starts with volunteering at the race expo for the RAM Racing Hot Chocolate 15k/5k, which is tomorrow at National Harbor. I was supposed to run the 15k, but my plans changed. However, I'm still going to pick up my swag (because it's a jacket, not a t-shirt!) and volunteer. I've never been able to volunteer at an expo because of work schedules, so I'm looking forward to it. Happy running to those who are running this weekend, BTW!

After the expo, the weekend will be filled with visiting friends. It won't be all fun and games, as I have a 20-page paper to write for my Human Behavior class, but I've already planned a study party with a friend of mine who is taking classes right now. It's always nicer to study together, even if productivity drops significantly during that time. :) I'm also looking forward to the 6 miles I have scheduled for tomorrow. It's a drop from the last few weekends, and I'm feeling strong for it already. Let's hope that stays!

To close, I'll leave you with two very interesting articles from Runner's World.

Why Is Running So White? This article was so interesting to me, both as a runner and a social worker. In fact, I brought it up yesterday in my policy class, because we were talking about health disparities based on various demographics, i.e. income level, race, etc. Something so basic that I had never thought of before is that if you are living in an unsafe urban area, as so many people of color do, running is not an option. Running is a flight technique, not exercise. So interesting and so relevant for so many of our Baltimore residents and neighborhoods.

Transcendental Steps I read this article this morning, mostly because I've been trying to figure out if I want to challenge myself to run iPod-less. I'm not interested in the Buddhist meditation aspect, for obvious reasons, but I do think the principles are transferable in some ways. I could spend time meditating on the things of the Lord (Philippians 4:8), and I could simply talk with Him. I should relish that opportunity, not fill it with bad music. I'll let you know how it goes...

What are you up to this weekend? Anything fun? Any running?


Until tomorrow...

Day 15 - My Favorite Season

Yesterday was the start of my favorite season.

Well, that might be a bit of a misnomer, because my favorite season proper is actually Summer; but my favorite season is Advent. The expectation and anticipation, the active waiting -- I love it all. I am in awe of what we celebrate at Christmastime -- God Incarnate. I have to pause every time I think of that just to meditate for a few moments on what that means. Just as I did last year, I'm using readings adopted from the Book of Common Prayer. I'm also going through a book called "Watch for the Light," which has daily readings from a variety of writers. I strongly recommend both.

Today's "Watch for the Light" reading was a piece by Henri Nouwen -- "Waiting for God." Nouwen writes:

"Hope is trusting that something will be fulfilled, but fulfilled according to the promises and not just according to our wishes. Therefore, hope is always open-ended. I have found it very important in my own life to let go of my wishes and start hoping. It was only when I was willing to let go of wishes that something really new, something beyond my own expectations could happen to me." (emphasis mine)

It's a good reminder that the things we so often wish for pale in comparison to the things God has for us. That is humbling. In this way, hope is risky, because it means we relinquish our control, our intentions for the circumstance. Still, we know the certainty of God's promise and have it "as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain." (Heb. 6:19, ESV)

We live our lives waiting for something. I want to live in hope and trust.

Day 12 - Wide Open Like a Lake

Price Lake, Blowing Rock, NC

When something can be that beautiful in a picture taken with an iPhone, you know it is really beautiful in person.

While the siblings attempted to skip stones and make boats out of leaves, I sat in the sun, taking in the flatness and stillness of Price Lake. Over the worry of what is to come, I sang Sara Groves' "Like a Lake."

so much hurt and preservation
like a tendril round my soul
so much painful information
no clear way on how to hold it

when everything in me is tightening
curling in around this ache
I will lay my heart wide open
like the surface of a lake
wide open like a lake

standing at this waters edge
looking in at God's own heart
I've no idea where to begin
to swallow up the way things are

everything in me is drawing in
closing in around this pain
I will lay my heart wide open
like the surface of a lake
wide open like a lake

bring the wind and bring the thunder
bring the rain till I am tried
when it's over bring me stillness
let my face reflect the sky
and all the grace and all the wonder
of a peace that I can't fake
wide open like a lake

everything in me is tightening
curling in around this ache
I am fighting to stay open
I am fighting to stay open
open open oh wide open
open like a lake

Tomorrow, I will run 9 miles, and I will decorate a Christmas tree and bake cookies, and I will love on my family and let them love on me. And I will stay open, like a lake.

Until then...

Day 8 - Smorgasbord

Today is a rest day, but I actually thought about running. Alas, since I don't have to, according to the Master Plan, it is better that I make an attempt to conquer the huge pile of work I have been putting off.

Still, I promised to post everyday, and I'm not a girl to back away from a promise like that. So, my smorgasbord of random things:

1. I'm still eating candy corn, even though Halloween is well over. This is what happens when candy is 70% off at Target.

2. Last week, a student that I work with came in with her "hair did". It looked really good, and I told her so, at which point she said, "Miss Leslie, you could get your hair done like this." Hmmm... probably not, even if I had hair! It was funny.

3. That same student also told me I was light-skinned, not white. I love it.

4. A spell check on the word "smorgasbord" confirms that I have been pronouncing it incorrectly for my entire life. Anyone else always said smogasborg? Shame on me, the English major.

Sunrise in the NC mountains

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 5. I absolutely cannot wait to visit my family in North Carolina. My dad and I will drive down on Wednesday evening and stay until Sunday night. I expect it will be a great time of respite for me. It's hard to be stressed when you're visiting a place that looks like that.

6. Today I felt joy and peace in the midst of trial like I have never felt them before. I am certain beyond any doubt that they are from the Lord. I am so grateful. (See my exact thought at that moment here.)

7. I read an excellent post on Friday night by a college friend of mine, Meg @oursomethingnew. She speaks the truth we all need to hear.

Angry about these numbers

8. Over the weekend, I went to the beginning portion of a sleep-out held at City Hall, coinciding with National Hunger and Homelessness Awareness Week. I wasn't planning to sleep-out, and I could write a whole post on my philosophy there (but won't!). My politics don't necessarily align with most of my fellow social work students, but there is one bi-partisan issue on which most of us agree.

That's really all I have for today. Not too terribly exciting, I know; but some days will be like that. I'm off now to write a policy brief on Title I. Sounds fun, right?! Right...

Until tomorrow...

Day 5 - Gratitude

The latter days of this week have been equal parts challenge and promise, which have been wrapped tightly together in one place -- gratitude.

When life goes topsy-turvy and something familiar become unfamiliar, it's easy to lose focus on just about everything. The issue at hand becomes paramount, and we develop a sort of tunnel vision that is nearly impossible to break. We must refocus. We must cast our gaze elsewhere, look upon something different, something greater.

This is what gratitude in the midst of trial does for us.

In her book, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, Ann Voskamp writes, "Gratitude for the seemingly insignificant—a seed—this plants the giant miracle."

And so I thank God for sun falling through slats in the blinds. For the laughter of children. For delicious dinners and hot tea. For the encouraging words of friends. For colors. For the smell of a new book. For a blue sky speckled with clouds. For hooded sweatshirts. The longer I spend looking, the longer the list gets. These are the seemingly insignificant things.

Then the miracle comes -- the giant miracle in which I am able to thank Him for things like hurt and sadness. For things like pain and trial. For things like conviction and boldness. And in this giant miracle, in this gratitude for blessings I cannot yet see, I can know a promising truth:

"For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed." -Hebrews 12:11-13 (ESV, emphasis mine)

a journal of gratitude

 And so I write down these things. I list them in a book. I look at them. I stare at the pages until I am reminded of promise.  I stare at a list of little things, things I would miss were I not looking; and somewhat magically, as if by miracle, I realize gratitude for the big things, the hard things, the good things.

 


My wasteland, my despair, my wilderness -- they become as a lush garden, with joy and gladness, thanksgiving and song.

"For the LORD comforts Zion;
     he comforts all her waste places
 and makes her wilderness like Eden,
     her desert like the garden of the Lord;
 joy and gladness will be found in her,
     thanksgiving and the voice of song." -Isaiah 51:3 (ESV)